I can't do this anymore.

I’m tired of living the average American life. I feel like I’m wasting my time. I know that I’m at UMBH for a reason, and I know that it is SUCH a blessing to be here, but I can’t get the idea out of my head that I’m missing something.-or really, that I’m not doing enough. Daily, Jesus has been overwhelming me with the gospel. I have never been hungrier for wisdom, and I have never craved the scripture so much. God’s timing is perfect. I’m supposed to be here, but I’m getting antsy. I get consumed with the idea of post-college. That is when my ministry will start. That is when I will have freedom to go and to do. But is it? I’ve been wrong for having that thought process. I don’t know why I ever thought it was okay to waste the time I have been given here. It’s becoming overwhelming. I can’t wait anymore. Something has to change. 

Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common. ³³And with great power the apostles were giving their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all. ³⁴There was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold ³⁵and laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need. ³⁶Thus Joseph, who was also called by the apostles Barnabas (which means son of encouragement), a Levite, a native of Cyprus, ³⁷sold a field that belonged to him and brought the money and laid it at the apostles’ feet.  –Acts 4:32-27

I become burdened every time I read this. I deeply long to say this is true about the community in which I live. I want this to be my life. So where does it start? What does it look like?  

My ideal plan: Stop the life I’m living now and go join a missions based organization (local or international) and tell people about my obsession with Jesus.

God’s Plan? Well, from what I can collect so far, he wants me to hang out here in Belton and get my BSN. (A plan WAY deeper and more intricately planned than how I just portrayed it.) The thing is, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want me to share his love. He just wants me to do it in a way that is different than my plan.

So what? How do I live in Belton and go to rich kid school and not live an average American life? I want to be so heavily invested in the gospel that everything about me screams my savior.

Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me." –Matthew 19:21

What does that look like in 2011? How extreme is that? I don’t think the meaning of that verse changes with the introduction of the iphone 4gs, or any other advance in technology. I think Jesus truly wants us to give him everything.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. -1 Peter 2:9

I cannot be an average American anymore, when God has called me a chosen people, a royal priesthood, and a holy nation. Something has to change for me. Something will.