I don't think the title for this post is fitting. Realistically, I don't know if at any point in the near future my Costa Rican experiences will be concluded. I think that this coming semester will teach me just as much about my faith, life, and living in a country other than the US as Costa Rica did. It's hard to come back. It's hard to look around and see the waste. It's hard that whether voluntary or involuntary, I am a part of that waste. It's also beautiful to come back. I don't really know what my new feelings of the word "blessed" are, but according to my pre-CR definition, I am so incredibly blessed and thankful to grow up the way I did. I've never known hunger, homelessness, or experienced a true depravation of a basic human need. I've never been forced to work 12 hours a day for $2, had to walk 2 miles to get a cup of water, or spent the day buying, killing and cooking a fresh chicken for dinner. I can easily see why many of the people I met in both Costa Rica and Nicaragua have a huge desire to live in the States. It seems like we have the perfect life. I beg to differ.
My experience with LASP (Latin American Studies Program) was everything I never would have expected it to be. As a program that attracts mainly students from small Christian colleges, you would naturally assume that it would cater to that sort of lifestyle-whatever that may be... However, the experiences I had showed me a different perspective on just about every conservative belief I had ever previously been exposed to. While they didn't necessarily teach that our views were wrong, they did a very thorough job of showing us that God is bigger and more complex than we ever imagined him to be. I have come back to Texas with an incredibly overwhelming amount of new information that I have absolutely no idea what to do with. It's difficult to challenge beliefs and opinions that you've been taught for 20 years of your life, however, ignorance is not bliss. You never know what you are missing until you are introduced to something different. A fish doesn't know it's in water until it is taken out.
Here are some of the things that Costa Rica and Nicaragua have challenged me with:
-Military and violence-Is violence ever right?
-Drugs. Is the battle to keep drugs illegal really worth the death toll?
-Homosexuality in the church.
-A women's role in society and in the church/women serving as pastors.
-Are "mission trips" worth the cost?
-Why would I ever consider living and serving in a culture that isn't my own when there are many people here that lack basic human needs. This one is really challenging.
-What is the will of God? How could the will of God be for people to live in such horrible conditions?
-How am I supposed to see firsthand the exploitation of workers that companies such as Starbucks, Dole banana companies, and pineapple companies support and then go back and purchase their products-or even work for them?
So, here I am. I'm sitting at Starbucks, typing on my apple computer, and drinking a cup of coffee that somebody slaved over all day to make for me. Ironic right? I don't know what to do. I don't want to hate the United States. I don't want to be back here and walk around with a pompous, higher-than-thou attitude because I have experienced and been exposed to many things that many people have not. But at the same time, I don't want to be back here and pretend that I don't know about the exploitation that goes into everything I eat or drink. It's those moments when ignorance seems like bliss. I hate knowing that people are exploited so that I can live comfortably. How do I combat that? How do I live in the world and not of it? Am I supposed to eat everything organic? Am I supposed to sell everything I own and ship the money off to Nicaragua? What about the people in Belton, Texas that don't have food? Am I supposed to ignore the fact that there is poverty around me because regardless of what I do, I cannot cure it? So many things. So many challenges. It sucks knowing that I cannot win.
As the start of a new semester rolls around and I find myself in my busy old routine of working 40 hours a week and taking 18 hours of classes, I'm excited and terrified to be a different me in the same situations. I will always remember the things I experienced and the people that changed my life in Costa Rica and Nicaragua, but I have to re-learn to live here everyday as if it was my last.
I'm currently praying a lot about returning to Costa Rica this summer and working alongside Rahab ministries in San José. If you would like to know what that is, click here. (: Thank you for following me on this journey. I hope I have been somewhat successful at sharing with you the highs and lows of my trip and the things God has taught me as i've explored a culture other than my own.
“In a sense it is the coming back, the return, which gives meaning to the going forth. We really don’t know where we’ve been until we’ve come back to where we were- only where we were may not be as it was because of who we’ve become, which, after all, is why we left.”
-Bernard, from Northern Exposure
My beliefs have been challenged to the extreme this semester, however, one thing remains certain; Jesus is everything. Run after him. He is your only hope.
My experience with LASP (Latin American Studies Program) was everything I never would have expected it to be. As a program that attracts mainly students from small Christian colleges, you would naturally assume that it would cater to that sort of lifestyle-whatever that may be... However, the experiences I had showed me a different perspective on just about every conservative belief I had ever previously been exposed to. While they didn't necessarily teach that our views were wrong, they did a very thorough job of showing us that God is bigger and more complex than we ever imagined him to be. I have come back to Texas with an incredibly overwhelming amount of new information that I have absolutely no idea what to do with. It's difficult to challenge beliefs and opinions that you've been taught for 20 years of your life, however, ignorance is not bliss. You never know what you are missing until you are introduced to something different. A fish doesn't know it's in water until it is taken out.
Here are some of the things that Costa Rica and Nicaragua have challenged me with:
-Military and violence-Is violence ever right?
-Drugs. Is the battle to keep drugs illegal really worth the death toll?
-Homosexuality in the church.
-A women's role in society and in the church/women serving as pastors.
-Are "mission trips" worth the cost?
-Why would I ever consider living and serving in a culture that isn't my own when there are many people here that lack basic human needs. This one is really challenging.
-What is the will of God? How could the will of God be for people to live in such horrible conditions?
-How am I supposed to see firsthand the exploitation of workers that companies such as Starbucks, Dole banana companies, and pineapple companies support and then go back and purchase their products-or even work for them?
So, here I am. I'm sitting at Starbucks, typing on my apple computer, and drinking a cup of coffee that somebody slaved over all day to make for me. Ironic right? I don't know what to do. I don't want to hate the United States. I don't want to be back here and walk around with a pompous, higher-than-thou attitude because I have experienced and been exposed to many things that many people have not. But at the same time, I don't want to be back here and pretend that I don't know about the exploitation that goes into everything I eat or drink. It's those moments when ignorance seems like bliss. I hate knowing that people are exploited so that I can live comfortably. How do I combat that? How do I live in the world and not of it? Am I supposed to eat everything organic? Am I supposed to sell everything I own and ship the money off to Nicaragua? What about the people in Belton, Texas that don't have food? Am I supposed to ignore the fact that there is poverty around me because regardless of what I do, I cannot cure it? So many things. So many challenges. It sucks knowing that I cannot win.
As the start of a new semester rolls around and I find myself in my busy old routine of working 40 hours a week and taking 18 hours of classes, I'm excited and terrified to be a different me in the same situations. I will always remember the things I experienced and the people that changed my life in Costa Rica and Nicaragua, but I have to re-learn to live here everyday as if it was my last.
I'm currently praying a lot about returning to Costa Rica this summer and working alongside Rahab ministries in San José. If you would like to know what that is, click here. (: Thank you for following me on this journey. I hope I have been somewhat successful at sharing with you the highs and lows of my trip and the things God has taught me as i've explored a culture other than my own.
“In a sense it is the coming back, the return, which gives meaning to the going forth. We really don’t know where we’ve been until we’ve come back to where we were- only where we were may not be as it was because of who we’ve become, which, after all, is why we left.”
-Bernard, from Northern Exposure
My beliefs have been challenged to the extreme this semester, however, one thing remains certain; Jesus is everything. Run after him. He is your only hope.
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