Skip to main content

WHEN YOU CANNOT HEAR GOD.

The Lord has been exceptionally quiet with me lately.

I think i've been exceptionally loud.

Things are crazy and I'm homeless after May and my car is officially totaled and I'll likely owe a few thousand dollars on it and I'm running around and I'm trying to fix what's broken and it's loud and stressful and I'm calling out to God and I'm trying to make plans and I'm asking him what to do and I'm not hearing anything and I'm getting frustrated and and and.

HELLO, GOD! WHERE ARE YOU?

But I can't hear anything. Because I'm yelling. & He is whispering.

"Be still, and know that I am God. 
I will be exalted among the nations, 
I will be exalted in the earth!". 
Psalms 46:10. 

 The hardest thing in the world is for me to be still. I always think I know better. I want instant answers. HERE. NOW.

Sometimes I suck at having faith.

This morning, through prayer and the wisdom of a mentor of mine, I finally shut up long enough to hear the whisper of the Lord.

He didn't give me answers. He didn't tell me what to do or how to fix my problems. He simply said, "be still and know that I am faithful. I will provide for you".

Oh, how desperately I need the gospel every day.

Wants. Vs. Needs.

I desire to always be prepared and ready to make a leap of faith. I desire to be debt free and not tied down to worldly possessions so that at any given moment I can pack up and follow God's calling on my life-both figuratively and literally.

I'm starting to think that the death of Marty the Prius was a good thing. While 6:30am bike rides to work and paying off the rest of my loan doesn't sound comfortable, I am reminded that the Lord is faithful. He is always faithful. & I am overwhelmed with joy.

I am so deeply in love with Jesus.

So, the next time you're crying out to God and you're overwhelmed and things are crazy and you can't seem to hear anything, Be still.

 Because there's a really good chance that YOU'RE YELLING & He's whispering.

Cast your burden on the Lord,
and he will sustain you;
he will never permit
the righteous to be moved.
Psalm 55:22

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I'm donating a kidney to celebrate recovering from an eating disorder.

I remember the first time I decided I was fat. I was sitting in theater class in 9th grade and one of my classmates told me to hold my arm out in front of my body. When I did, they hit the skin under my upper arm and laughed as they watched it jiggle. In that moment, I gained 50 pounds. That 5'3 110 pound high school freshman died, and a hypersensitive and self conscious version of myself peaked its evil head for the first time. Although that was the moment my eating disorder (which I'll call Ed) took over, it wasn't the only thing that sparked an unhealthy view of myself. Years of comparison, losing a relationship with my father, and the decision to define my worth in the words of other people, collectively lead me to believe that I was fat, unloved, and that the worldly standards of beauty defined me. For the next 8+ years, Ed defined me. Above my relationships with people, and above my relationship with the Lord, Ed was most important thing in my life. When I firs...
4 comments
Read more

How donating my kidney saved my life.

For good news to be good, it has to invade dark places." - Matt Chandler August 9th, 2016.  As they wheeled me through the double doors and into the operating room, I remember pure joy radiating throughout my body. I was not nervous, I was not afraid. The Lord had given me a peace beyond understanding and I smiled as the anesthesia took a toll on me and I drifted to sleep. Some hours later. My eyes pop open and I look around. The nurse pushes something into my IV that she says will help with the pain, but I don't feel any pain. I'm in a big open room with lots of medical supplies. I look to the right and I see a man in bed. And then I remember. I use every ounce of strength in me to mutter the question, "does he have my kidney?". The nurse smiles and says "yes" as my eyelids fall heavy and the dilaudid sets in. I wake up again. My mom is in the room. I have no idea what she's saying to me because all I can think about is the man that ha...
2 comments
Read more

Everything was beautiful & nothing hurt... until I found out I had endometriosis.

You graduate college and you're excited to figure out adult life. You hope for that dream job, you hope to move to a new city, or you're eagerly counting down the days 'til you get married. Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt. Right? But it's inevitable. It's inevitable that at some point in the months after your biggest accomplishment in life yet, things crumble. Expectations aren't met. Hardship arrives. The dreams you were once so determined to accomplish seem to slip further and further away as reality sets in and adult life doesn't seem as exciting anymore. And it's in these moments that you create your future. It's not your circumstances, but the way you approach them that will define the quality of your life. So what's your vice? What are the circumstances that caught you off guard and tried to crush your dreams? For me, it's this evil little disease called endometriosis. Let's be real. I had never heard of endo befo...
Post a Comment
Read more