AJGSLDGJHDLGKJHLKJ!!!!!

        I'm on an emotionally roller coaster. This morning I laid in bed wishing I was back in Texas. This afternoon I teared up just thinking about leaving. I think back to the moment I first arrived in the CR. In orientation, they talked to us about different "stages" of adjusting to a different culture. The ones I remember are "honeymoon stage", "rejection stage", and "adjustment stage". There were definitely a few in between those... but the point is that I think I'm between the rejection stage and the adjustment stage. I never thought I would get out of the honeymoon stage... I guess that was ignorance on my part. My work at the orphanage booted me out of that happy little wonderland after about the third day here. The last week and a half was tough. I've been exhausted-really exhausted, felt unwanted at work, gotten ticked off because I had to eat when I wasn't hungry, and gone to one to many events where I didn't know a single person other than my mom. In those moments I just wanted to cuddle up in my bed in the BTX, watch elf with all of the gracious people who are willing to do that with me, while simultaneously eating Chickfila and drinking a Starbucks nonfat, no whip, pumpkin spice latte, with one pump white mocha. Go drink that for me right now. But really. Freakin' delicious. 

        Anyways... Then on the complete other side of the spectrum there have been those incredibly blissful moments that make me tear up and never want to leave this place. For example. Today my mom and I sat around talking for a really long time. About deep, personal stuff. That's a conversation I never knew I could have in spanish. I can't tell you how stoked I am about that. (: Also, yesterday at the orphanage two older sisters arrived. 9 and 12. I spent the whole day trying to get them to smile. It really confirmed in me that working in an orphanage is not something I'm going to cross off a list and never return to. I just think I would do better in a place with older kids that I can have (or try to have) deeper conversations with. Have I mentioned yet how much I loveeee my family?? I am so incredibly thankful for them. I have never experienced anything like this. I don't want to leave them. 

        I have a week and a half left. Sometimes I want to count the hours, sometimes I want to pretend I'm staying here forever. Regardless, my time here inevitably coming to an end. I'm tearing up as I write this because when it does, I promise you I'm going to be heartbroken. I have no idea how I am going to tell anybody about the things that happened here-are still happening. Y'all. :( I don't have anymore things I can say right now. Instead, I'm just going to ask for your prayers and share this list with you that I made yesterday. Estoy enamorado de Costa Rica.

Things I am going to miss about the CR.

1. Cafecito.
2. Beans!
3. The community and the closeness of families.
4. Attractive ticos (;
5. Taking a bus wherever I want to go.
6. The friendliness of strangers.
7. The rain.
8. The beautiful weather.
9. The mountains.
10. My wonderful tico families.
11. Fresh and very cheap fruit.
12. The kids at the orphanage.
13. Learning Spanish.
14. Having my perspectives challenged every day.
15. Enjoying the silence.
16. Travelling all the time.
17. Walking to school and work.
18. Really tasty and clean water.
19. Being taken out of my comfort zone. Daily.
20. Having my food prepared for me!
21. Having my laundry done for me.
22. The peaceful and slow life here - even though I tend to want the opposite.
23. Seeing people worship God in a different culture and language.
24. Hanging out with missionary families.
25. It’s not technology based.
26. Being part of a wonderful, incredible and close tico family.
27. I almost put “salsa and belly dancing” on here… but as I was making this list, my tica mom called me to join them for dance hour. Then I remembered how regardless of the fact that I do it anyways, I really dislike dancing… So that’s on a different list now… haha. However, I will miss the quality time with my fam. They are perfect.

Things I am not going to miss about the CR.

1. Having to eat when I’m not hungry.
2. Eating rice 3 times a day.
3. Not being able to have deep conversations. (I proved this false today! )
4. No in-door heating.
5. Not knowing what is going on.
6. Cold showers.
7. It is always dark before 6.
8. Being forced to dance…

Things I’m excited for about the States. 

1. Being with people I’ve known for more than 3 months.
2. My favorite people.
3. Driving.
4. Working. I really miss working.
5. Hot water!
6. Starbucks and Chickfila. (:
7. IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME!
8. Corporate worship in English.

I freaking live here.

My tica sister is the best.