How donating my kidney saved my life.

For good news to be good, it has to invade dark places." - Matt Chandler

August 9th, 2016. 

As they wheeled me through the double doors and into the operating room, I remember pure joy radiating throughout my body. I was not nervous, I was not afraid. The Lord had given me a peace beyond understanding and I smiled as the anesthesia took a toll on me and I drifted to sleep.

Some hours later.

My eyes pop open and I look around. The nurse pushes something into my IV that she says will help with the pain, but I don't feel any pain. I'm in a big open room with lots of medical supplies. I look to the right and I see a man in bed. And then I remember. I use every ounce of strength in me to mutter the question, "does he have my kidney?". The nurse smiles and says "yes" as my eyelids fall heavy and the dilaudid sets in.

I wake up again. My mom is in the room. I have no idea what she's saying to me because all I can think about is the man that has my kidney. Like the drugged up fool I was, I waved to him over and over as I tried to yell to him, "I want to be your friend!".

The next thing I remember is three strangers standing by my bed. I think they are crying but everything is foggy and it's hard to focus. I smile when I realize they belong to the man who has my kidney. They tell me the man's name is Danny. "I want to be your friend, Danny!", I yell again". Sleep overtakes me once again as they wheel my bed out of the room.


Flash back. Fall 2015.

I'm cold, my head hurts, and I look down to see the bruises marked up and down my legs. I've just gotten off the phone with the doctor. There's compassion in her voice as she reads me the results; "Your blood is not clotting well because you have a Vitamin K deficiency. Given all of your other results are normal, the only explanation is a severe starvation diet".
I hang up the phone as quickly as possible. We both know she is right.

As the weeks go on, the bruises get worse and I realize I'm failing out of nursing school. Although the numbers on the scale keep falling, the promised satisfaction of being thin never comes. I'm scared and ashamed as I finally share my deepest secret with my best friend. She prays for me and with me as I open up to my Bible study girls and cry out to The Lord to show me what to do.

Today. September 6th, 2016.

Four weeks ago today, I donated my kidney as part of a 6-way kidney swap. Through prayer and a humble heart, God led me to this decision as a way to help heal from my crippling eating disorder. In my darkest moments, I needed a motivation outside of myself to heal my body and my mind. The Lord answered that prayer in a way bigger and better than I could ever have imagined.

In my broken and selfish state, God brought me the answered prayer of Mariela. Mariela, though confined to dialysis with her body wasting away, reminded me of the joy that comes only from a relationship with Jesus Christ. Her and her husband Orlando reassured me that even if I was not a match for her, that even if she never received a kidney, that God is still good and that the love He has for us is still perfect.

Praise the Lord for providing three people with kidneys through a kidney swap! There were three people (Mariela, Danny, and Sandra) that needed kidneys, and three people (Me, Doug, and Sylvia) that were willing to donate on their behalf. Through this 6-way surgery, each individual received the kidney that was the best match for them.

The Lord has been incredibly faithful to me these past several months. I can promise you that they weren't easy. Giving up a stronghold that has held you captive for almost 10 years has been (and still is sometimes) the most difficult journey of my life.

If you are struggling with an addiction, guilt from past sin, looking for peace, or feeling hopeless, I pray you realize that Jesus is your only hope. You are not too far from His grace, you are not too broken, and you are worth saving.

Over 2,000 years ago, God sent His perfect Son into the world to create a path for you to have a restored relationship with him. Jesus lived a perfect and sinless life and then died on the cross, taking every sin (you have and will ever commit) with Him. By defeating death and raising from the dead three days later, He conquered sin and made a way for you to live in perfect peace with the God of the universe. By admitting that you are helpless in your sin, confessing your need for God, and believing with all of your heart that the perfect Jesus died on the cross and rose again to save you, you will be saved. You can never be good enough to earn your way to heaven. Jesus is the only way.

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 6:23

God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. -Romans 5:8

Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. -Romans 10:9

Also. I just had to share this wonderful poem Danny's brother JR wrote for me. So touched. (:

Everyone has problems 

And problems lead to pain

With God in your heart it's like

Finding joy in rain

Your heart was broke one summer 

And still lingers in your brain

Years have come between you like

Finding joy in rain

Lord help you keep your promise

just three You must maintain

To share the love of Jesus is 

Finding joy in rain

You offered part of yourself

and this will cause much pain

Giving life to others is 

Finding joy in rain

God answered prayers for your friend

Who was on the kidney chain

Two others you would save is

Finding joy in rain

Prayers saved my brothers life 

Gods love we must proclaim 

But giving him your kidney is

Finding joy in rain

Post surgery!

Nursing Graduation! A week before surgery!

By beautiful sister Mariela!

Danny! 

Visitors & best friends. (:

One of my favorite pictures in the world! <3

(:

Replacement kidney!

Wonderful new friends celebrating with me!

This past weekend. Recovering well!

Tiny little scar!