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I like to run away from hard things.

I like to run away from hard things. It's my favorite way of dealing with them. Avoidance avoidance avoidance. At the end of the day (or week or month...) I generally end up doing the right thing, but more often than I should I end up taking the long way to get there. It's definitely one of my biggest faults.

I can easily think of three important things in my life right now that I've put off for far too long. I know exactly what I need to do about each of them, and I know exactly what it will take to bring me peace. But it's hard and I hate it. Soooo instead of being a mature responsible Christian about them, i've been avoiding them and running away. So far so good?

Nope. Not at all.

Running away is exhausting.

I didn't really feel like going to church last week. Feel free to judge me for that. I went anyways, but I was really distracted throughout the entire service. First off because the poor kid in front of me kept puking in the middle of worship, and secondly because my whole avoidance issue made it incredibly difficult for me to focus on the words I was singing. Gary DeSalvo talked for a really long time about how we run to different things in life to find peace when we know that Jesus is the only one that can bring us that peace. I decided I'd heard all of that before and that it didn't really apply to me... I am an idiot. 

 I graduated college on Friday. It was hands down one of the best days of my life. I have the greatest people in my life.

I know that the last time I blogged I asked y'all to pray for my post grad decisions. Thank y'all for praying. I was considering moving to central america to work with an anti human trafficking ministry. I really wanted to go and for a long while I believed that the Lord was taking me in that direction. I ended up giving up the full time job I had been offered in Temple in order to pursue that decision.

And then the Lord said no. I had a difficult time accepting his answer. I had no back up plan and while I didn't regret giving up that job, I had no idea what to do. Sooooo I avoided telling people about my decision.

Grad school.

Disgusting. The one thing I promised myself I would never ever ever do. And yet here I am. Enrolled, starting in the spring at UMHB, and confident that it's exactly the direction the Lord is leading me in. The Lord works in strange ways.

I am joyful that the Lord has provided this opportunity for me and although it took me entirely too long, I'm glad I finally stopped avoiding this decision and have become thankful for it instead. I know it'll be an incredible journey. (:

I'm still an idiot. I think I'll probably always be one. I'm so thankful that the Lord loves me anyways.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." Lamentations 3:22-24.

 Y'all there is no peace without Jesus. Running away will never satisfy you, because whether you believe it or not, the deepest longing of your heart is to know God and to be known by him. He will never stop pursuing you.

I'm absolutely preaching to myself.




Comments

  1. AnonymousDecember 18, 2013 at 8:05 PM

    Awesome Ashley!!!!!! Bonnie C in AR!! :)

    ReplyDelete

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