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When God Destroys Your White Picket Fence Plan...

I'm sitting at Starbucks drinking a salted caramel mocha, reading Philippians and watching the rain trickle down the perfectly large windows. Today is my favorite kind of day and although I have a million things to do, none of them seem quite as important as taking time out of my day to be at peace.  But i'm not quite at peace. At least, not at peace in the way I thought I would be.  Allow me to explain. If you had asked me a couple of weeks ago I would have told you with overwhelming excitement that after I graduate college in December I will be working as a Social Worker. Although I'm usually the type to be extremely indecisive, this plan sort of fell into my lap and it seemed perfect and beautiful and I had no reason at all to question it. But who am I trying to kid here...? If you know me at all you know that I am still indecisive and I never make a decision without considering at least 7 other options. So naturally, just as I was starting to feel comfortable w
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I'm donating a kidney to celebrate recovering from an eating disorder.

I remember the first time I decided I was fat. I was sitting in theater class in 9th grade and one of my classmates told me to hold my arm out in front of my body. When I did, they hit the skin under my upper arm and laughed as they watched it jiggle. In that moment, I gained 50 pounds. That 5'3 110 pound high school freshman died, and a hypersensitive and self conscious version of myself peaked its evil head for the first time. Although that was the moment my eating disorder (which I'll call Ed) took over, it wasn't the only thing that sparked an unhealthy view of myself. Years of comparison, losing a relationship with my father, and the decision to define my worth in the words of other people, collectively lead me to believe that I was fat, unloved, and that the worldly standards of beauty defined me. For the next 8+ years, Ed defined me. Above my relationships with people, and above my relationship with the Lord, Ed was most important thing in my life. When I firs
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How donating my kidney saved my life.

For good news to be good, it has to invade dark places." - Matt Chandler August 9th, 2016.  As they wheeled me through the double doors and into the operating room, I remember pure joy radiating throughout my body. I was not nervous, I was not afraid. The Lord had given me a peace beyond understanding and I smiled as the anesthesia took a toll on me and I drifted to sleep. Some hours later. My eyes pop open and I look around. The nurse pushes something into my IV that she says will help with the pain, but I don't feel any pain. I'm in a big open room with lots of medical supplies. I look to the right and I see a man in bed. And then I remember. I use every ounce of strength in me to mutter the question, "does he have my kidney?". The nurse smiles and says "yes" as my eyelids fall heavy and the dilaudid sets in. I wake up again. My mom is in the room. I have no idea what she's saying to me because all I can think about is the man that ha
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